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The Perks of Living at Home
The word graduation can be a double edge sword. We live in a generation where we are always on the move, and God forbid for a second we push pause. I’m pretty sure we are convinced the...
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The Cranky Christmas Bitch
Fuck. It’s Christmas time again. So not happy I hate Christmas, I hate Christmas, I HATE CHRISTMAS. While everyone is running around in excitement, counting down the days with advent calendars, I count...
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Every Question You Ever Had About Sons of Anarchy
The Publicist and I are really big fans of the show, Sons of Anarchy. Not only is Charlie Hunnam ridiculously ravenous and we would love to squeeze his ever so present naked ass, but the show has...
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Awkward Seasons Greetings
Finish The Sentence Friday…This Christmas Season, I will nail the Holiday Greeting. One thing you must know about me is that I have a large family; 7 kids on my dad’s side and 5 on my mom’s. Throw in...
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2014, Can I Get a Re-Start?
Today is Friday and if you live in the North East, it’s a snow day! No work! No School! Plenty of time to read this entirely-way-to-long-blogpost!! Since I am stuck inside and bored, I decided to...
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Me N0 Rite G0od
I’m lighting this shit on fire. I had a thought today while listening to a 2 Chainz lyric. The lyric said, “”Chain hang to my ding-a-lang, Chain hang to my ding-a-lang“. Never mind the fact these two...
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How I Spent My Million
I used to have a million dollars but I spent it. Let me tell you a story… This is what I looked like with a million dollars. Last year I was notified by the state department that I had money that...
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The Hidden Gems In My IPhoto
Do you ever wonder why you choose to take pictures of certain things and people? No? You have a life and don’t have time for stupid thoughts like this? Kudos to you. I don’t, so I think about these...
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The Bigger, The Better
The day that I saw it, it was a Tuesday and I had been drinking heavily for a Tuesday. Had I known that on this particular Tuesday I’d be seeing something this large, I would have slowed down on the...
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10 Distractions in Female Fashion
After working in retail all throughout college I can say I have observed some serious fashion distractions, ranging from the peek a boo thong sitings to the dumpy white Reeboks. If you got that instant...
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Dear Mr. President
Dear Mr. President, My newest complaint is of epic proportions which is why this letter is worthy of your attention. After a recent episode, I sense there are some fishy things going on in the medical...
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Southern Boy Living In a Northern World
I love that I have cleavage in this picture I did the one thing I told myself I would never do, I married a southern boy. I also told myself I’d never get knocked up before marriage, but I did that...
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Thank God for Tequila and Crappy Birth Control
Do you ever wonder what if? What if you had made one decision differently? How would your life change? Maybe you would be a rock star right now. Or maybe you would be a millionaire. Maybe not, but you...
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That Time Cheesy Bread Turned Me Into A Lesbian
A funny thing happened on the way home from a track meet… I think I have mentioned before that me at 18 was nothing short of a total douchebag, I apologize to my parents everyday for it. Before I tell...
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The NFL’s Biggest Cry Baby
The award for the NFL’s biggest cry baby goes to… My husband, That Boy Ryan. Just for the record, I respect other people’s passion for important things like world peace and feeding the homeless but...
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Hashtag #Hoes A Video Blog
Before you watch the video, I’d like to give a brief background on the Hashtag #HOE. Definition of a hashtag hoe: a female who overuses hashtags as picture captions on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram....
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Mommy Conviction
My kid told me she was taking me to court. According to her, I was guilty of taking too many “Mommy shortcuts” and it was time to bring me to justice once and for all. She was nice enough to offer me a...
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Interpretive Car Dancing
I have a secret talent that I don’t share with many people, only those who are included in my most intimate circles and sometimes random taxi-cab drivers after a night of heavy drinking. At the age of...
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FYI: I Didn’t Die
Hello? Is anyone still out there? It’s me, That Girl Ryan. I wanted to check in and let you know that I did not die or lose my hands, I just abandoned my blog for 3 weeks. Terrible, I know but I did...
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That Girl Ryan Does Stand Up Comedy
Here it is…my comedy routine! I’m an inpatient bastard and couldn’t wait any longer to receive the professional taping of my routine, so I’m posting the footage one of my fans (aka my dad) captured on...
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