Hello? Is anyone still out there?
It’s me, That Girl Ryan.
I wanted to check in and let you know that I did not die or lose my hands, I just abandoned my blog for 3 weeks.
Terrible, I know but I did upload my NEW blog logo!!! Don’t you love it?!
My unrealistic expectations took me in a different direction once again to…Stand-UP Comedy Class.
Making an asshole of myself online wasn’t enough, I needed to get on stage and do it in person. Let me tell you, it’s harder than it looks.
Look at me trying to be cool
Next week is my official “graduation show” where I get to do my whole bit in front of a real audience – trashy New Jersey locals – but still, even trashy NJ locals can be an intimidating bunch.
I wanted to share some things I discovered about the world of comedy…
1. Male comedians are perverts/horn dogs…can’t help but love them
I won’t go into detail but I will say this…
Ladies, if you are single and want to date a male comedian, take my advice and do not shave, do not wax the “area”. There is a group of men out there who will fully appreciate you as a woman in her natural state; pubes and all.
I haven’t seen anything quite like it…
2. The uglier and older you are, the more you get away with…it’s not fair
This is the first time in my life I wish I was born fat, ugly and funny because then I’d get away with saying anything…like newborns are ugly and look like old men. For some reason, that line just doesn’t have the same effect as if an older, grey haired, overweight lady said it.
Ugh.
3. It’s hard to write comedy material
I spent the last three days thinking up different ways I could explain the benefits of being a Tranny
I missed a meeting at work because I was practicing my voice impression for Steve Urkel
I spent 45 minutes searching all the synonymous for VAGINA
WTF has my life become?
4. You become a narcissistic
I’m ready to bitch slap myself
5. You are not as funny as you think you are
Like that time I went to an open mic and nobody laughed at my jokes…Most awkward 5 minutes of my life.
6. Stage fright gets re-defined
Flight or Fight has become…Flight, Fight and piss your pants
Wish Me Luck this week…I will return to back to my blog soon!
