I’m lighting this shit on fire.
I had a thought today while listening to a 2 Chainz lyric. The lyric said, “”Chain hang to my ding-a-lang, Chain hang to my ding-a-lang“. Never mind the fact these two lines are probably the most profound knowledge I have heard in a while but more importantly, 2 Ropes, I mean 2 Chainz is making millions coming up with that crap. Technically rappers can be considered writers, writers who have terrible grammar and no sense of the English language.
We totally have something in common…
Let me just state for the record, I am not entirely illiterate and I do not have a chain that hang to my ding-a-lang, even though the thought of that sounds intriguing. But I Sure Got Some Shitty Ass Grammar skills. (you see what I did there?)
When I write, I focus on humor and content that evokes uncontrollable laughter. Are there technical mistakes that occur? Tons.
* I am not a writer who blogs, I am a blogger who writes.*
Therefore, I have written a disclaimer for all writers and readers who read my nonsense.
Dear Writers who blog,
Let me first explain that this letter is full of grammatical errors. Let me also explain that the chances of me proof-reading this letter AFTER I have typed it, is slim. All that I ask is for you to please put aside your anal retentive reading skills for just a moment.
If you read my posts please know….
I still cannot successful spell words like tomorow and wenesday. If spell checker doesn’t catch it, chances are, I won’t either.
Sometimes I make up my own words like, Drunkly. I’ll use that word in a sentence…Sometimes when I drink too much Tequila, I think to myself, Damn, Ryan you are drunkly. If words like, “Twerking” and “Selfies” are real words, I think Drunkly can certainly be one. Drunkly is a damn fine word.
Semi-colons are a ton of fun. I constantly put ; where the ; shouldn’t live; because I just; like how they look; on the page;.
My sentences start with conjunctions and end in prepositions. And I think they are the best that they can be.
I also often question the definition of a run on sentence because sometimes I am not even sure it’s really a run on sentence due to the fact that it doesn’t look like a run on sentence but it might be a run on sentence. Is that a run on sentence?
I, am, a, comma, whore.
I…also…overuse…ellipses…
I discriminate against the ‘ because its possessive.
I am aware of the difference between You’re and Your but if I write the phrase, Your a fucktard and you still can’t decipher the difference between “You’re/Your”, well then your a fucktard.
I have proof-read this exact sentence 3 times still didn’t find the left out word. Did you find it?
Verb usage is my enemy. It does, did, will, keep me up at night.
While I highly respect the skills of each and ever writer who blog, My style is My own. So with that, Writers please continue to use your punctuation. correctly. Please continue to use correct subject and verb agreements…and for god’s sake put the ; where it belongs.
The standard of writing is an ever changing landscape. In a world where we speak in #hashtags and abbreviate phrases like BTW and SMH, basic writing rules are a dieing art.
Maybe one day I will be a blogger turned writer. Maybe I will reconsider burning my grammar book and actually read it. But for now, I will just continue to blog and commit terrible crimes against the English language.
It’s a work in progress.
Long live writing, Long live blogging,
That Girl Ryan
